Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Happy Mothers Day Mom.....I didnt understand.

Well first of all Happy Mothers Day to all of the wonderful Moms I know. It is one of my favorite days to celebrate (a little harder the last few years of course). I was thinking the other day about how many people were thinking of me on this day. I felt overwhelmed. All of my friends and family were thinking how hard this day must be for me. Well it was. VERY HARD!!.

I was watching Joey try and make sure I had the best Mothers day ever. He makes me smile sooo much and brings the craziest,funniest,wackiest and the most fun everyday already. He made me breakfast in bed,gave me a beautiful crystal angel and we went Monster mini golfing. All I needed was him to make me smile. And he did..:)

Then I started to think of my Mom and then like a ton of bricks it hit me. How hard it must be for her to watch her little girl on Mothers Day without one of her sons here. It honestly never occured to me how hard this must be for her...She has all her kids wishing her a Happy Mothers Day!!....and I dont!! Im sure its hard for my friends and family to see me missing a little part of myself. But it has to VERY HARD for my Mom and Dad.

I can tell you that during our battle with Michael I was at times(well most times) a complete pyschob*tch. I didnt want anyone to help me,talk to me,look at me and most of all console me. I wanted to do everything myself and swore that I could do it alone. I fought with everyone..and I mean EVERYONE!!!

What I realized later on was that it was just as hard to watch people you love go through something like this. Like I said it never hit me. I was soo hard on everyone and tried to push everyone away as they were just trying to deal with it as well.

I watch Joey now and would love to take any pain away that comes to him whether its being sick,feeling alone or just having a bad day. Im sure he will do the same thing to me and want to just deal with everything himself. So to everyone who stayed with me during my horrible moments...you know who you are..and ESPECIALLY to my Mom...Thank you..and Im sorry..I didnt understand.

Happy Mothers Day Mommy!!


  1. I love you...psychobitch and all! PS-Wanna go out sometime?

  2. I was thinking of you on Mother's Day weekend and wanted to tell you... on Saturday morning, I saw a random balloon floating up in the sky. Later that evening, my family & I went over to LBI to see Jamie & her family. We were on the beach when we all saw a tiny rainbow in the sky. Now, I know we don't know each other in person, and it's kind of odd for me to say, but I felt like it was your son glimpsing down at the world. It was beautiful.